Dr. Riedy's Random Thoughts

  About a month ago, having a cup of coffee and reading the U-T with my wife, I was not paying much attention to the background drone of the morning TV show hosts. But when we heard this statement both my wife and I independently were struck by the depth of its insightfulness. Almost simultaneously we turned to one another with reactions bordering on ”Wow, did you just hear what I heard?” The guest being interviewed had said, in a matter of fact way, “We can’t fix what we can’t face.” It was a simple truth, stated in the context of the discussion of civil rights and racism in the United States. But like so many other simple truths, it can be applied to a multitude of issues and challenges. Also, because it is short, easy to remember and yet so powerful, I wanted to share the phrase with you and ask you to send me examples of situations where this truth applies. I will publish the list while maintaining strict confidence in the sources. Applications can be personal or societal. On a...

  Accreditation Standards for Candidates for Public Office Nine hundred nine-nine billion, nine hundred nine-nine million, nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-seven. In my last essay I said “my guess is that it would be easier to count back from one trillion to zero by threes than to get duly elected politicians voluntarily to create a statement of expectations, qualifications and professional standards required of those seeing to become candidates for public office.” Then I received about 20 responses to my essay, all of which one way or another agreed with the idea that accreditation/professional standards would be a good idea, which got me to stop the countdown after the first number. Maybe the idea does have traction after all. Or am I blowing smoke? I have only heard from readers who agree, however, so I have no way of knowing the strength or depth of the resistance likely to exist in opposition to standards.   With a hearty invitation for all r...

  I enjoy going back over the many insightful, often humorous responses to my essays. For example, in response to my essay on “A Trillion Here, A Trillion There…”a friend wrote, “We have more qualifications for people applying to McDonalds than for our national leaders.” That comment got me thinking, and I wrote what follows several weeks ago but just had not had time to publish it. However, in skimming USA Today this morning, on the front page there appeared a small table with the results of an “Ipsos poll” from May 4 – 5, which reminded me it was time to publish this piece. Here’s why. The survey question was “How many Americans say these professions are trustworthy?” Firefighters                                                    ...

  Recognizing The Emotional Content in Everyday Relationships   Recently, if someone had asked me the throwaway question, “so how’s your day going?”, my likely (superficial) response would have been something like, “just fine, thanks”. Most anyone asking this bland question is being polite and trying to make a social connection, neither expecting nor wanting to hear your story.   However, the truth is that as I reflect on my relatively “typical” days I realize they can be loaded with important and meaningful relationships, each with emotional content deserving recognition and appreciation. Collectively, these “touches” can amount to a surprisingly broad gamut of feelings and experiences, as they did for me when I originally drafted this essay, which was on May 18, when I wrote about the previous day. After a couple of weeks of editing it several times I now offer these thoughts to you. There were highs …May 17 was a day crowded with positive, constructive relationsh...

  Initial Responses to “Avocations Becoming Obligations” Essay  (Please note that in July these posts will no longer automatically be mailed to followers.  What I suggest, if you are interested in reading future posts as they are published, is that you send me your email address with a brief note requesting inclusion on my personal mailing list.  Every time I prepare material for this blog I first email it to a list numbering about 375 recipients at this point.  My email address is mriedy@sandiego.edu.  Note also that my last name is spelled with an "ie", not "ei".  Far too many people still type my email address incorrectly.  Mark J. Riedy) Seven friends responded quickly to the "Avocations…Obligations" essay, and more will follow soon if history is any guide. I love the range of responses, from the ridiculous (“In San Diego I’ve offered to shovel the snow from neighbors’ driveways for 40 years, with no takers.”) to the sublime (“I felt the P...

  Being Sensitive to Avocations Becoming Obligations   I’ve observed an interesting phenomenon among friends and neighbors who, either through a repetitive helping hand or the pursuit of various avocations, provide benefits to others. Over time those who benefit from their friend’s or neighbor’s good deeds occasionally may begin to take them for granted and come to view the actions less as the gifts they were intended to be and more as ongoing duties or obligations. The shift from avocation to obligation is a subtle, morphing process. It’s almost as if a behavioral statute of limitations exists to assure that no good deed goes unpunished. I can think of at least six examples of this phenomenon. If you have observed it in other areas I hope you will share them with me. Also, especially if you are the beneficiary of someone else’s good deeds on a regular basis, you might want to examine your feelings about their help as an obligation on their part and think of ways to let ...

  What’s the Hurry? Note to readers: I was unsure whether or not to publish this essay because it focused so heavily upon automobiles and speed, when the topic of hurrying is so much broader than streets and highways. Then, about two weeks ago, a 70 year old man was killed by a hit and run driver on Del Mar Heights Road, about two blocks from our home. Del Mar Heights Road is a four-lane city street with a posted speed limit of 40 mph.  Drivers think nothing of 50-60 mph on the stretch from I-5 toward the ocean, which is where the hit and run occurred. I recognize being "in a hurry" and being a "hit and run" driver are like oil and water as topics, but the crime still bothers me so I decided to post these thoughts after all.   Despite our reputations for being “laid back”, most everyone in California seems to be in a great hurry scurrying to and fro, emphasizing quantity over quality and quickness over thoroughness.   We want to move quickly to finish whatever w...