Dr. Riedy's Random Thoughts

  Initial Responses to “Avocations Becoming Obligations” Essay  (Please note that in July these posts will no longer automatically be mailed to followers.  What I suggest, if you are interested in reading future posts as they are published, is that you send me your email address with a brief note requesting inclusion on my personal mailing list.  Every time I prepare material for this blog I first email it to a list numbering about 375 recipients at this point.  My email address is mriedy@sandiego.edu.  Note also that my last name is spelled with an "ie", not "ei".  Far too many people still type my email address incorrectly.  Mark J. Riedy) Seven friends responded quickly to the "Avocations…Obligations" essay, and more will follow soon if history is any guide. I love the range of responses, from the ridiculous (“In San Diego I’ve offered to shovel the snow from neighbors’ driveways for 40 years, with no takers.”) to the sublime (“I felt the P...

  Being Sensitive to Avocations Becoming Obligations   I’ve observed an interesting phenomenon among friends and neighbors who, either through a repetitive helping hand or the pursuit of various avocations, provide benefits to others. Over time those who benefit from their friend’s or neighbor’s good deeds occasionally may begin to take them for granted and come to view the actions less as the gifts they were intended to be and more as ongoing duties or obligations. The shift from avocation to obligation is a subtle, morphing process. It’s almost as if a behavioral statute of limitations exists to assure that no good deed goes unpunished. I can think of at least six examples of this phenomenon. If you have observed it in other areas I hope you will share them with me. Also, especially if you are the beneficiary of someone else’s good deeds on a regular basis, you might want to examine your feelings about their help as an obligation on their part and think of ways to let ...