Family Gatherings, Relationships with Friends and Birthday Palooza's (Will Continued Mutations of the COVID-19 Virus Put Them at Risk?)

With Delta and other variants lifting their ugly heads, a military disaster in Kabul, a huge hurricane in Louisiana and wildfires raging out of control in the Western United States, for my wife and me our greatest refuge and source of joy is our family, immediate and extended. We treasure every moment with them. Last Sunday was one of those family days filled with joy and laughter. Even as we partied, however, stirring in the back of my mind were fears we are nowhere near containing mutations of the COVID-19 virus in this country. I fear the great family times like I will describe briefly below may be at risk again in the future. Late Sunday morning, 13 (immediate and extended) family members gathered at our home to celebrate “birthday palooza”, co-celebrating four June - August birthdays simultaneously rather than stringing them out. A delicious brunch, followed by chocolate cake with individual candles on each slice (COVID precautions), and birthday gifts made for a happy day despite mighty thunderclaps and not-so-mighty droplets of rain during the party. We have celebrated birthday paloozas for several years now and I recommend the approach highly for families with members living in party proximity. The only person in yesterday’s group who will be feted individually for her birthday is our grand niece, roughly 15 months of age, who delighted us and warmed our hearts throughout the day. Second, our oldest grandson, scheduled to head north soon as an incoming freshman at UC Santa Cruz, let me know that he has developed a strong interest in real estate as an investment vehicle, far preferable in his mind to traditional stock market investments. He wants to learn more about real estate and looks to me for at least part of his education in this area. Music to this grandfather’s ears, let me tell you. Cole also is an excellent golfer, which while not a pre-requisite for a successful career in real estate, certainly will serve him well for years to come. Third, we topped off the day with a dinner invitation from my wife’s brother. Following dinner we had an opportunity to extend our personal congratulations to his son, John Lynch, Jr., on John’s recent induction into the Football Hall of Fame, when he called to say hello to his parents. Adding in the phone call plus another guest at the dinner, last Sunday I had 16 “touches” of immediate and extended family members-- all in all a wonderful family day. The closeness our family values so highly is almost equal parts family relationship and outright friendship. We would happily choose one another as friends even if we were not already related by blood or marriage. In that regard we are truly blessed. As a brief aside, through a calendar quirk Sunday’s family palooza also fell upon Erin’s and my 57th wedding anniversary. Long ago we all had agreed to treat anniversaries as private couple events rather than for families, however, so the palooza birthdays were the primary focus of Sunday’s party. I recognize that the birthday palooza and private anniversary policies won’t fit every family’s style of celebrating, but they work well for us and might be worth consideration in families with lots of birthdays and anniversaries to celebrate. The sole acknowledgement of our anniversary was a card signed by everyone, in which they lovingly reminded us of how much they appreciated us as role models as parents, grandparents, father- and mother-in-law, sister, aunt and uncle. Even as a non-event, therefore, our anniversary added a warm underpinning to palooza Sunday. As I alluded to at the start of this essay, part of what drove me to capture in writing what an incredible “family” day we had Sunday was simply to paint a picture with words: to memorialize what in a future mutating world we might all recall fondly as “the good old days”. But what if, like California’s current wildfires that defy containment because of high winds, the COVID-19 virus continues to mutate and remains beyond the reach of the medical profession for some indeterminate period of time? How will people react? It’s one thing to have restrictions on personal freedoms imposed the first time through, when expectations are high they will be short-lived. It’s entirely something else in September 2021, however, now that we have seen its tenacity, duration and costs to our health, lives and livelihoods, not to mention our quality of life, as the virus continues to mutate and test the efficacy of vaccines. This situation also may have a much more significant and negative emotional impact on individuals and families the second time around. In such a world, the quality of our relationships with family and friends will be put to the test, and how we react will become crucial to our future happiness. I encourage everyone to take time to enjoy your families and friends today or tomorrow or later this week, as a hedge against tougher times ahead. There’s nothing to lose and everything to gain. At the same time, before our worlds narrow again, it might be a good time to assess close relationships, repair damages that exist and shore up those needing some TLC. I have to believe the stronger our relationships are going into another potential life-altering pandemic, the better they will be able to help us withstand and/or cope with problems that occur. We all know strengthening relationships doesn’t happen overnight. It takes hard work to build and nurture them, even in the best of times. What lies in prospect for 2022 and 2023 is anyone’s guess, but what I do know for certain is you can never be too early in preparing for difficult times ahead.